I Am Only A Ghost

Train Ride (Preserved In Amber) by deaddeaddeaddead

I have always felt as though I were a ghost.  So often feeling cold and dead among the living.  My haunt being train tracks with continuous trains passing through me.  Feeling immobile I would watch other people's lives continue on as my empty body remained still, in Purgatory.  Time was my enemy as years passed and the scenery and people would change as the trains would carry new people right through me.

Usually I seemed to be present only to tickle their fancy.  There were some people who seemed to feel and sense my presence but couldn't quite determine where I stood.  There were fewer people who actually could see me.  Some saw me for a while, some only for a moment as the train would carry them forward and I remained, dreaming of a day I could feel my feet rest on the floor of one of these trains and see where it was headed.

Fewer still, there were those who would stand up when they saw me.  They would speak to me, make eye contact, even reach out for me.  As those people reached for me though, they would pass through me.  I would disappear before their eyes and only a couple people actually watched me go as they looked into my weary eyes.

There was always one passenger who seemed to take this same train.  Year after year I would recognize him and as he passed me by, each time I knew he saw me.  It began to occur to me that he recognized me in a way I couldn't even recognize myself.  As though we had known each other in lives before he made sure he would never be forgotten as he had never forgotten me.

In a single moment, after seeing this passenger again, he paused and looked at me.  Immediately standing before me with an assuredness I had never seen in any of the passengers that had passed by and through me for so many years.  He didn't pass through me, he didn't speak... instead, he reached for my face and he kissed my cold lifeless mouth.  His faith in me and the life that he knew remained within me, left him with no hesitation as his warm lips met mine.  For the first time in what seemed like centuries I felt warmth.  I felt oxygen and life fill my lungs and blood pump through the veins and heart I forgot I had.  I even began to feel the floor beneath my feet as his hands moved from my face to my back, embracing me and lifting me up until only my toes touched the floor.  Now my body rose to his strength as life and air filled me, body and soul.  Not because I was, only a moment earlier, so cold and lifeless as I hovered, stationary for eternity.

He knew me better than I knew myself as his eyes told me the story of our past and the story of our future and I surrendered to him my love... my life... because that is what he breathed into me.  In his arms, I got to enjoy the train ride as we waited to see where it was headed together.