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| Stage Fright by =ChrissieCool |
I brush the fog off of the mirror and look deeply into the eyes staring back at me. I feel as though I'm rushed to another place... I'm on a stage, all alone... This is where I wanted to be. I feel as though I have trained my whole life for this moment. This is the performance of my lifetime.
I stand on the dark stage not knowing what to do next when a spotlight comes on. There have been so many people who have joined me on this stage. Some teachers, some performers, some just stand-ins, but they are all gone now. I'm not even sure where they have gone. I'm only sure that, as my eyes adjust to the blinding spotlight, I can see only two faces in the audience; one is my own and next to me, is my son. I know people are all around me, in the audience, even backstage, but I am alone on the stage now. Its all up to me to decide what to do next. I am my harshest critic and what I do next will be closely observed by my child.
As the heat from the spotlight seems to heat the heavy stage make-up on my face, I know that its time for me to do something... anything. I can't just stand here. I remind myself that this is what I wanted.
I will swallow the lump in my throat, I will feel the blood move again through my body, warming my stiff fingers and toes and I will take control of this performance. I will define the rest of this show... this show that is my life. I will put an end to the stage fright and I will act. Not as a performer, but as a woman who defines her life and what she's doing with it. I see the woman in the mirror again and I know that the woman looking back at me will be as raw and honest with herself as she can be.
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